Feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and barely treading water?

(You’re not alone.)

For as long as I can remember I have processed life through music. I have had this lyric by Amy Ray (most famously of Indigo Girls) on repeat in my head for the past several weeks “‘Cause it’s true most of the time I’m treading water with no sign, keeping my head just high enough to holler…”*

So many of the people I’m talking with these days feel like they are treading water. And for folks who aspire to be “high functioning and highly productive” they can feel like they are treading water but it looks like they have it all together, feet on solid ground. It’s important to keep this in mind when engaging in comparisons. I work with a lot of professionals and caregivers who feel like they have to maintain the appearance of keeping it together for everyone else and look like they are not struggling at all. This only makes the feeling of burnout worse. 

Everyone struggles sometimes. Some more than others, but every single human is struggling with something. And although struggle is a normal part of life sometimes, and most things that are truly meaningful do require effort and some degree of discomfort, it’s important to recognize when something needs to change. Checking in with yourself periodically about what you are truly feeling is a good first step. Lots of folks have difficulty recognizing what they are feeling, and/or they’ve been trained to “always look on the bright side!” “just think positively!” And “never give up! Winners never quit and quitters never win!” While being aware of what is going well is important, this degree of toxic positivity is unhelpful. It’s important to understand what we are feeling, what we need, when something needs to change, and when we need a break or to ask for help. 

If you find yourself feeling like you’re treading water, give a holler before you’re too exhausted and depleted. May is a time of growth and new beginnings. It’s also mental health awareness month and an excellent time to check in with yourself. Do you feel like you could use some support? Try to allow a small pause, connect with someone, practice some self-compassion or fierce self-compassion so that you can find your footing even if momentarily. Mental health therapy is an excellent way to reinvigorate yourself. You don’t need to be struggling with severe issues to benefit from counseling. We can all benefit from some support, skills, and kindness from time to time. 

I have a deeply held value for destigmatizing help seeking, mental health therapy, and supporting folks in finding their own meaningful path. I teach mindfulness, self-compassion, and psychological flexibility, along with other useful tools, but I’m not the only option out there. Take a breath, look around, find your footing, and reach out for support. That alone is a significant act of self compassion. 

-Jennifer Miesch, Ph.D.

*The song is called “Holler," from the album titled Holler, by Amy Ray, Daemon Records: https://www.amy-ray.com/holler