Feeling Overwhelmed?

Earlier this week I had one of those nights when I was wide awake at 3am with wildly anxious racing thoughts, catastrophizing in multiple areas (yes, sometimes this happens to therapists too). I finally drifted off and in the early morning light I remembered the words of Wendell Berry, in my favorite poem of his:

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

These words are so difficult to remember in the darkness of night, when everything feels scarier and more difficult. It is difficult to remember in the daylight too. 

There are a lot of scary and disturbing things happening in the world. The list is longer than I can write about here. But when despair for the world grows in us, there are some things that we can do. 

First of all, remember that everything feels scarier at night. I think we are wired for this so that we keep ourselves tucked in and safe at night. No matter what time of day you are feeling overwhelmed, start by reminding yourself that you are safe at this moment. (If you are not actually safe, then your brain is in survival mode and you really do just need to focus on keeping yourself as safe as you can). But if you are actually safe and your brain is finding things to worry about, remind yourself that you are safe. Feel your feet grounded on the floor (or your body on whatever you are on). Breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth. See if you can count your breaths or say a comforting word as you inhale and exhale. Allow your attention to follow the breath. If this feels too overwhelming or you are too distracted, use your senses to engage with your environment. Name things that you can see, hear, smell, touch, taste. Find an object to focus on and describe it in detail. If you are able to go outside, use nature to ground yourself. Find a tree, a leaf, a blade of grass, a cloud, or listen to a bird, and focus on the details of it. When you feel less overwhelmed, think about what needs your attention right now. Your brain might ping you with lots of notifications, but just like on your phone, you don’t actually need to pay attention to all of the notifications. Focus on what you need to be doing right now. If it’s nighttime, keep breathing and feeling your body on the surface of the bed and remind yourself that you are safe and you can attend to those worry thoughts in the daylight. If it’s daytime, choose one task to focus on. When your mind drifts away, remind yourself of your intention in this moment. You will need to do this repeatedly: mind drifts, notice, bring it back, repeat. 

If you find yourself worried about the state of the world, think about what is actually within your control. What is one action you can take that is aligned with your values? This can be something small, like checking in with a loved one, or it can be bigger. The important thing is to remind yourself that you are doing something that matters to you. And breathe. 

And then remind yourself that you don’t have to do all of the things. You cannot solve all of the problems. You can do some things that are within your control and you can learn to be less bothered by the rest (with practice).

Allow yourself to rest in the grace of the world for just a moment. There is beauty all around when you give yourself a moment to notice. 

And remember that you are enough just as you are. 

Thank you for reading. Please share if you found this content helpful.

Jennifer Miesch, Ph.D.