The one where we talk about fueling our life force instead of fitting into our pants

They say don’t read the comments. But I’m finding the comments are where some concerns and questions are showing up in menopause content that deserve to be addressed. 

First of all, no social media post or blog post can sufficiently address all concerns, individual variances, health and ability status, body type, genetics, mental health concerns, and diversity and cultural factors. There are a lot of similarities with bodies and brains and there are also a lot of differences. You should always check with your medical and/or mental health provider for your specific questions and concerns. 

 One area of concern I am seeing and hearing is a tension between acceptance of natural changes (in body composition, size and shape, and metabolism) and making changes to nutrition and exercise to try to fight the menopause weight gain and “menobelly.” I am a big believer in body positivity and health at every size. So this is not about body shaming, fat shaming, or saying that we need to be fighting age and gravity and trying to make our (peri)menopausal bodies look much younger. 

Bodies do change with age. Hormonal shifts and aging processes cause changes in metabolism and fat distribution in the body. This is a fact. And bodies do age differently. Just as some of us have always struggled with weight and fat distribution and some have never struggled with weight, this continues through the aging process. 

 Perhaps it is time to drop the struggle with your aging body and do what is within your control and that you are able and want to do. Notice what actually helps your body and brain feel better. And then do those things for yourself, for your health. Your approach doesn’t have to be all or nothing. There can be a balance between accepting inevitable changes and making some choices that are within your control. 

 Eating nutrient rich foods and moving your body isn’t about trying to look younger or live up to unrealistic beauty standards. It’s about caring for your body and mind and aging with as much health, brain functioning, and strength as you can. 

“Strong not skinny” is the new mantra of aging well. Attempts to shame yourself into losing weight, severe calorie restriction, and overdoing the cardio are not only unhealthy but also very demotivating and cause more problems physically and emotionally. I like to think of “strong” as mental in addition to physical strength.

 For the first time in my life I am eating nutritious foods and moving my body for me - not to try to look a certain way or because it is what I’m “supposed to do.” I am noticing how I feel (physically, ability to focus and concentrate better, and mood and energy levels) after I have eaten some foods versus others and after I have exercised versus when I have sat around all day. I have discovered that some foods make me bloat terribly and painfully, have an energy spike and then crash, or just feel sick. I still love chocolate and other sweets and I am not going to completely cut them out of my life. Labeling certain foods as forbidden tends to just make you crave them more. 

 I have noticed that when I get up and move my body in the morning I have more energy for longer into the day. I can now take these observations about food and movement and use them to motivate me to continue eating the foods that help me feel better, avoid the ones that make me feel sick or crash, and move my body even when I really want to stay in bed longer. I have learned that it does not have to be all or nothing and if I only have 15 minutes I can lift some weights or take a quick walk and that 15 minutes is better than no minutes of movement. When I do this for myself and for how I feel, I am able to sustain this and maintain the motivation to continue. As soon as I think about a number on the scale, how I look, or how my pants fit, I can feel like giving up. For me, this is as much about mental health as physical health. I also do not want to be frail any sooner than I have to be. I figure if I want to be able to do something at 80, I need to be doing it at 51. 

Eating well and moving my body is not about vanity. This is about protecting my life force. I’m eating the protein and the fiber and the leafy greens to fuel my body and brain so that I can continue to show up and do what matters most to me for as long as possible.

 I need you all to know that I realize not everyone can afford or has access to healthy whole foods, exercise equipment, or a safe place to walk. This could be another entire post and might be someday. I encourage you to start where you are and with what you have, and be mindful of what supports your goals wherever you are on the path. 

I specialize in working with women who are experiencing anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and/or burnout, especially in the (peri)menopause transition. If you are interested in working with me, click the “schedule a free consultation” button on any page of my website:https://jennifermieschphd.com/. I am able to work with people in 44 US states and territories. 

Thank you for reading. Be well.
  -Jennifer Miesch, Ph.D. 

Licensed Psychologist and author of The Mental Health Through Menopause and The Being Enough Blog

A blog post is not a substitute for mental health therapy. This blog is not intended to diagnose or treat any physical or mental health conditions.